Friday, February 29, 2008

The Does Secret Code of Honor

Okay, this was brought up in the comments, so I thought I'd post it so everybody would know what we are talking about. :) Enjoy!

Doe's Secret Code of Honor

The doe's secret code of honor is as old as goats themselves and is ultimately the species best kept secret. No doe shall ever kid before its time. (Its time being determined by the following factors):

1- No kid shall be born until total chaos has been reached by all involved. Your owner's house must be a wreck, their family hungry and desperate for clean clothes, and their social life nonexistent.

2- "Midwives" must reach the babbling fool status before you kid out. Bloodshot eyes, tangled hair and the inability to form a sentence mean the time is getting close.

3- For every bell, beeper, camera or whistle they attach to you, kidding must be delayed by at least one day for each item. If they use an audio monitor, one good yell per hour will keep things interesting.

4- If you hear the words, "She's nowhere near ready. She'll be fine while we're away for the weekend," Wait until they load the car, then begin pushing!

5- Owner stress must be at an all time high! If you are in the care of someone else, ten to fifteen phone calls a day is a sign you're getting close.

6- When you hear the words "I can't take it anymore!" wait at least three more days.

7 -You must keep this waiting game interesting. False alarms are mandatory! Little teasers such as looking at your stomach, pushing your food around in the bucket and then walking away from it, and nesting, are always good for a rise. Be creative and find new things to do to keep the adrenaline pumping in those who wait.

8- The honor of all goats is now in your hands. Use this time to avenge all of your barn mates. Think about your friend who had to wear that silly costume in front of those people. Hang onto that baby for another day. OH, they made him do tricks too! Three more days seems fair. Late feedings, the dreaded diet, bad haircuts, those awful wormings can also be avenged at this time.

9- If you have fulfilled all of the above and are still not sure when to have the kids, listen to the weather forecast on the radio that has been so generously provided by those who wait. Severe storm warning is what you're waiting for. In the heart of the storm jump into action! The power could go out and you could have the last laugh. You have a good chance of those who wait missing the whole thing while searching for a flashlight that works!

10- Make the most of your interrupted nights. Beg for food each time someone comes into the barn to check you. Your barn mates will love you as the extra goodies fall their way too. Remember, this code of honor was designed to remind man of how truly special goats are. Do your best to reward those who wait with a beautiful doeling to carry on the Doe Code of Honor for the next generation of those who wait.

~Author Unknown

I think one more should be added though.

11- Do your best to ALWAYS kid at night, start early so you can make sure they will be out there checking on you and then while they are waiting in anticipation go all the way to midnight before you kid. :D


Anonymous said...

I just have a really stupid question??? I also have goats but I have never had to help them kid. They are Boer goats also and I have about 19 Does but i have never had to help them kid. Is this just something you like to do or is something wrong with your goats?

Bethany said...

Good question. :) I always like to be with my goats when they are kidding just in case they need help, and with my Nubians I raise on CAE prevention so I have to be there as soon as they are born to pull the kids. The only doe that I really had problems with this year was the one that I had to go in up to my elbow and rearrange the kids. The others were just very minor, like a front leg back, which they could have had them on their own, but if I can make things easier why not do it by straightening the leg? You are very blessed to have not had any problems kidding. And most of my births this year I didn't have to do a thing. There are times though that assistance is needed and I'm sure you would agree. :)

Anonymous said...

Yes i agree. and by the way what is the CAE prevention thingy. Oh yeah my mom knows your mom from way back in the Watson Chapel Days.... I am using her computer today because I had earned some personal days from school.

Bethany said...

CAE (Caprine Arthritis Encephalitis) is a disease that primarily affects dairy goats. If you'd like to read about it here's an article that might be of interest. Unfortunately I have dealt with it in my herd and so raise my kids on prevention so that I can prevent the spread of the disease. Also, most folks if they are knowledgable don't like to buy your kids unless they are raised on prevention, or tested to be CAE free.

So your mom knows mine? Wanna reveal your idenity? :)

Bethany said...

That was funny. I love you baby goat pictures.

Eliya said...

LOL. I like #11. Also very true!

I like being there when my does kid too. It is one of the most exciting things for me. I love watching the miracle of birth!!! It never gets old. :D

Bethany said...

Lol, yeah I just had to add something about night time births! :D

I totally agree, seeing those little babies being born is just SO neat!!

Sarah said...

That is funny, Bethany! Thank you for sharing. :)

Anonymous said...

That was so funny! I laughed very much. LOL

Jordan Ruseler said...

That seems to be the way it often goes! Sleepless nights, false alarms, etc. etc. I better not let my goats hear it as they might get more ideas! :)


Morna said...

Thanks for writing this.